Congratulations, someone saw your weird and liked it enough to want to commit to you! YAY FOR FINDING YOUR WEIRDO! And if you’re just here, still single, prepping for the future, your momma raised you right. Congrats on that!
Relationships bring on a slew of feelings, both positive and negative: nerves, doubts, fears, what ifs, excitement, hope, happiness, connection, camaraderie and comfort. With all of those feelings happening at random times, we need all the help we can get when it comes to navigating and growing with the relationship.
If you haven’t already, make sure you manage your expectations before getting into a relationship. You’ll get what I mean by reading our post on the normal “negative” things that no one tells you about before getting into a relationship.
Let’s just jump into it:
1. Forget that old adage “happy wife, happy life!”
“Well, you know the expression, ‘Happy wife, happy life?’ It’s bullshit. They’ve got it backwards. There’s a reason that woman agreed to go out with you, a reason she fell in love with you, and a reason she decided to marry you. And that’s you. The moment you give up your hobbies, passions, and interests, the instant you put your happiness aside to please her, you’ve stopped being the man she fell in love with. And if you’re unhappy, how the hell are you going to show her anything else? ‘Happy life, happy wife,’ my friend.” – suuupreddit
2. Marriage is NOT 50/50. It should be 100/100
“Interpretation: If you are in a relationship (not just marriage), be willing to put in 100% of the work. Yes, both people need to do their part (and you should be wary of anyone that doesn’t want to put in 100%), but there will be times where you have to do a lot more than your partner. As a married man, I can assure you this is more than advice; it is pretty much the requirement for any successful relationship.” – TF79870
3. What your relationship looks like now, will not be the same relationship years from now
“Your relationship is constantly changing, and that’s healthy! You go from first date butterflies, to the crazy honeymoon stage, to a little bit more serious, to being kinda family, etc. Both of you are constantly changing and your relationship will shift with that. Be open and communicate through those changes and your relationship will be strong.” – corrissak
4. Communicate about the good, the bad and the ugly.
“Talk to them when you’re upset. They can’t read your mind. If you hold all your negative thoughts inside it will just make you feel bitter about everything until it stops working.” – Nadodan
5. Go to bed angry sometimes (I TOLD YOU SO HERE)
“Go to bed angry. You’ll fall asleep thinking you’ll still be mad and wanting to continue the fight in the morning, but you probably won’t. You’ll both cool off and be willing to discuss the issue calmly with more understanding when you wake up. If you stay up fighting you’ll just get madder and madder.” – lindsayb42bb479a4
6. Argue constructively (also told you so here)
“Learn to argue constructively.
- Do not argue when you are tired, hungry, or driving a car.
- If now isn’t a good time to argue, write down the topic or email yourself. Every two weeks, go through the things you’ve not talked about.
- Remember, your goal isn’t to win against the other person, it is to collaborate and solve the problem. This means you should each start by listening to the other person and making sure your body language and responses make them feel listened to.” – [deleted]
7. Comparing is BAD
“Don’t compare your relationship to others.” – [deleted]
8. Perfect doesn’t exist
“No relationship is perfect and there will be conflict. What matters is the desire to solve the problem.” – dummystupid
9. Love needs commitment
“The problem is that love isn’t enough. You both have to be committed. There may be times you don’t feel like you love each other, like you’re so hurt or angry that you can’t stand the sight of the other. But if you’re both committed to the relationship, to the promises you made, then you’ll work through it and you’ll become stronger. Love without commitment just isn’t enough.” – ItAllBeganWithABurst
10. Or maybe all you need is your 2/2/2’s
“On our wedding night, I told my wife that we now had a 2/2/2 rule. It goes like this:
- Every 2 weeks, we go out for the evening.
- Every 2 months, we go out for the weekend.
- Every 2 years, we go out for a week.
We’ve stuck to it, and it really has made things awesome. We got married in August and people still ask how long our honeymoon phase will last. I think it’ll last as long as we stick to our 2’s.” – ckernan2
What’s the best relationship advice you’ve ever heard?
If you’re media and want to reach our Editor, email Moira Ghazal at firstname.lastname@example.org